It’s time to share your uniqueness with the rest of the world, don’t you think?
Let’s get the elephant out of the room first! INFJs rarely seek out fame for the sake of it. We simply don’t bloom that way. But we bloom, trust me on this. So, back to you INFJ, why should you stop being a well-kept secret? What’s in it for you? And what do I mean by a well-kept secret? Let’s have a closer look…
Most INFJs hate to draw attention to themselves. Same goes with small talks. Ego trips make them ache from head to toes. They might have some pretty severe trust issues as well. I know I had. Did I forget something? Ah yes, they aren’t crazy about the sound of their voice either. They dread words like pitching, keynoting, speed dating, prattling, gossiping.
If you are an INFJ, you’re probably one of these. I know I was. Still am. Suspicious. Solitary. Silent. Unsociable. Secretive. Elusive. Take your pick. I knew there was something special about me, but it would have been impossible for me to define what it was exactly. I was stuck in the INFJ conundrum: wanting to be appreciated for what I was, but not willing to make any effort in that direction. We are what we are, aren’t we?
On top of all that, there was my education to consider. The kind that encourages the pursuit of excellence without ever giving you the slightest clue as to how to reach it. Add another layer of Lutheran frugality and there you are in the unhappy land of If only… If only I could stop being frustrated. Alone. Misunderstood. Inadequate. Depressed. Purposeless, etc.
Being a true INFJ, you already know you are UNIQUE! Even if you don’t share your well-kept secret with anyone, you know. But you also are fully aware that The Eye Sees Only What the Mind Is Prepared To Comprehend, as the French philosopher Henri Bergson once said. So, why should you share your uniqueness with the rest of the world? Isn’t it better to keep being what you are, unnoticed? What would being in the spotlight give you?
I don’t know about you, but I felt much better the day I finally stop being an INFJ well-kept secret. Of course, such a decision won’t happen overnight. You have to (over)think about it a lot. Because it is cold out there, sometimes. You’ll feel naked without your INFJ super cloak to hide beneath.
Are you okay with being criticized? Belittled? Challenged? Get your pretty face online? How do you feel about making YouTube videos? Recording a podcast? Doing webinars? Meetups IRL? Joining a Mastermind? Creating your Amazon Author page?
What about prospects calling you on your smartphone? Coaching a total stranger? Setting up a Telegram channel and doing what you hate most: chit-chatting with curious people who are not even INFJs! The list goes on endlessly. Despite the obvious frustration and irritation I often felt with all this, I still think it’s worth it. Because I don’t want to go back to feeling so frustrated with my INFJ-ness. I no longer accept to hide in my corner of the world, even if it seems safe enough. Miserable is no longer an option for me.
I want more. I can do so much more than feeling sorry for myself. I have so much to offer. I know it sounds silly, but I realized that being a well-kept secret is somehow unfair to the rest of the world! Go ahead, laugh all you want, I don’t care. No more! Not being what I am and not sharing what I have to share isn’t going to make our world any better any time soon. Nor it’s going to help my fellow INFJs who need someone who understands the way their minds are wired. I think it all boils down to contributing.
Let’s face it! Nobody has the solution. Nobody can change the world single-handedly. We need each other. We need diversity. Not polarity. We need to be okay with bees in the beehive mending the house and bees far away in the meadows, pollinating flowers. We need voices, not noises. Eyes that see. Not lazy eyes. Dreamers that do. Not fictions. Extroverts and introverts. INFJs T and A. Storytellers. Not pretenders. INFJs are part of this world, aren’t they? And where is it written they can’t contribute?
Even if it’s not obvious. There’s grace in taking the leap of faith. It takes courage to leave one’s closet and claim one’s spot under the sun! As an INFJ, you may still wonder if it’s worthy. Is going alone in the deep dark forest a good plan? What about the Big Bad Wolf? Is getting your lovely butt kicked in the arena therapeutic? Useful? Rewarding? Or just absurd? I’d say yes and no. That’s the way to go as an INFJ. The only way. Because we are made for the impossible!
We’re not geniuses though. We grow by connecting on a deep level with the world. We mature as INFJs by unfolding. By sharing our journey. By going deep into the maze of our intricate minds with other people and still feel good about it. By daring to say “no” when it’s needed and “yes” whenever it’s useful. By trailblazing and letting people in what we foresaw. Nobody really cares about perfection! Nor do they care about you imagining great things. Why should they?
That’s not what the world craves! Unfortunately, because INFJs are overthinkers and so private people, it’s hard for them to see themselves as assets and even harder to take action. Oftentimes, what they can accomplish is hidden from their otherwise sharp sight. So, they ponder. They hesitate. They doubt. They procrastinate. Then, they feel bad. Frustrated. Isolated. Unappreciated. Hell is a golf field without golf clubs and golf balls! As an INFJ, you may think that because no one is you, it’s normal to feel so inadequate. I’m telling you, that’s the other way around. No one is you and that is your power!